Starting Anew

The last few years have brought many changes to our family, like most families around the world. Nothing could have prepared us for 2020. With the loss of family members, I became the matriarch before the age of 40. The state where we lived revealed itself to no longer be a safe place to raise our family. Luckily we were able to quickly put affairs into order and move to a more family friendly state. And then, just as we thought our family of 5 was we would end up with, baby number 4 was on the way. We have now settled into our new community and new routines as a family of 6.

Such radical changes have taken there toll and with that time. We have spent a most of the last year or so looking back, grieving what was lost, and processing all of the changes for us individually and as a family. Now as 2023 begins, we are looking forward. We have a new state to explore, four kids at different developmental stages, and new opportunities for income. It is exciting and daunting at the same time.

What will 2023 bring? Your guess is as good as mine. The wider world is still transforming and there is not a lot that we have control over. As we prepare our older children to make the transformation for child to adult, there is a lot we still have to teach. In the next 5 to 7 years our older children will be leaving our cozy nest into a world that is already far from the one we entered when we set out from home.

What comes next? Recreating a daily rhythm that works for our new circumstances, discovering the educational gaps created over the last few years and filling them in, and teaching life skills that will be needed for adulthood. In some ways, this is very familiar as we have done this repeatedly since becoming parents a little over a decade ago. But we are not necessarily starting over, just anew. Real life is not a board game where you get to completely start over. In real life, there is no going back to start. You can pause, reflect, find your compass, and begin anew. It often reminds me of a poem by one of my favorites, which I will leave you with.

The Road Not Taken BY ROBERT FROST

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth; Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same, And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.